its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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