You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize