Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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