I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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