dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just blew my weed a kiss
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
