I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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