Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
