the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
