Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
