mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
