You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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