I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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