so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize