So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
