we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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