I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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