I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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