I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
