All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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