I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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