im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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