i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
