So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
