You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
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The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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