smell my finger.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
