this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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