capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
