My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
