I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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