I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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