Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
