I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
