"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
