Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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