Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All I want is dick and wine.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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