tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
