If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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