she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
