The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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