put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
