this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
