Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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