textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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