dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
