do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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