Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
