I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
