I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize