We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
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I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
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Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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