I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
