First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
