tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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