You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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