so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
