hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
