You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
