i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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