People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
