3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
