I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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